Broken Latches

One of four broken trailer latches

Life on the road can be exhilarating but it also comes with its share of challenges, particularly for those of us who travel alone. I've come to realize that my reaction to these challenges stem from latent anxiety and resentment, not just of traveling alone, but of being alone in general. It’s a funny feeling, given that most of the time, I prefer solitude or being single. Yet, these feelings rear their ugly head when things go wrong. And things go wrong. They just do. And usually at the worst possible moment.

I have this rv camper and we are currently in a love/hate relationship. When it works, I love it. When it doesn’t…well, it gets complicated. So many emotions run through me when this thing breaks. I’m not talking about little things that can be fixed with pool noodles and duct tape, but things that halt a trip, or put me in danger. I really want to be the person that takes it in stride, breathes, and fixes the problem. But I’m not. I scream and explode with profanity, and THEN I breathe and fix the problem. I’m working hard on minimizing the first reaction.

Recently, the latches that hold down my pop-up trailer top blew while driving down the interstate during a major storm. While in the Walmart parking lot I was up on my little plastic ladder rigging a temporary latch system with paracord and I really needed an extra pair of hands to hold the top down firm while I tied the cord. So many people walked by me and no one even looked up, let alone offered to help. Maybe I looked like I knew what I was doing. Maybe they were in a hurry. But it pissed me off.

Reflecting on the resentment, it’s not about them, it's about how I reacted to having to deal with this alone. I could’ve asked for help but chose not to out of resentment. It’s a reminder of how nice it is to have help, or even just company, when things go wrong. It’s hard in that moment to remember that things will always go wrong but it will work out. And it did. I managed to secure the top and continue my journey.

Writing and talking about my experiences, I've received comments from people who see what I'm doing as brave. They believe I face challenges fearlessly and handle them like a champ. The reality is, I don't. I deal with them the best way I can and move on. I'm no different from others who want to travel alone but are afraid. The secret is each challenge makes the next one just a tiny bit easier, but it doesn't mean I'm not a resentful, fearful, banshee in the moment.

There's a unique sense of accomplishment that comes with tackling problems on your own. So if you're contemplating a solo journey, remember that it's okay to feel scared or resentful. These emotions are part of the process. They don't define you; your ability to move past them does. Embrace the challenges, cherish the victories, and keep earning that Badass Badge.